Unearthed Mundana: I Can’t Believe it’s not Thieves’ Cant
This article was first broadcast in Episode Ninety Nine on 4th December 2019. Ostron: Hey, there you two are! So I’ve been going over the script for How To Paint Your Miniatures and … Lennon: No time for that this week! Ryu’s going to teach us Thieves’ Cant Ryu: I am?! I, err, mean, I am! Lennon: Yep! You’ve already handed me these sheets of paper… so… here, one each… You said to read from the top, right? Ryu: Right! That is exactly what I said. Lennon: Ok, here we go! There are many languages in D&D, such as Common, Elvish and Dwarven, but very few dialects, much less alternative ways of speaking. In fact, aside from the Githyanki and Githzerai who both speak a dialect of the common Gith language, and the various elementals each speaking their own dialect of Primordial, non-standard ways of speaking rarely crop up. There is one exception,…
Unearthed Mundana: Actual Two Weapon Fighting
This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Six on 28th August 2019. Ostron: Who switched off the lights in here — Lennon, why are you in a barrel, and Ryu, what did you just hide behind your back? Ryu: I didn’t break into the vault and get two swords for Lennon, if that’s what you’re asking. Ostron: Two swords? Ok, why? Lennon: Well… hang on, let me get out of this barrel… Well, all the talk of John Wick last week got me thinking of a cool character concept I want to play, but I thought I should practice dual-wielding first — you know, to get into character. Right, now, does anyone have a spare puppy? Oooookay, well, I’ll admit that fighting with two weapons is objectively cool. Whenever someone shows up in a book, show, or movie and they’re holding a sword in each hand, you know they’re a badass. (Or they’re a squire…
Unearthed Mundana: Superstitions, Monsters and D&D
This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Two on 31st July 2019. Killer DM (tinkering): That’ll do I think. ROSTRO: Your assistance is appreciated. I believe we can now conclude the matter at hand. Lennon: Does the matter at hand have anything to do with the research beholders doing laps between here and the Candlekeep annex? ROSTRO: Surprisingly astute observation The rules of Dungeons and Dragons enumerate an extensive bestiary of creatures benign and belligerent. Fifth edition currently has a comparatively tiny collection of creatures when compared with previous incarnations. Many of those editions had at least three monster manuals in addition to ancillary materials collating collections of fauna, easily bringing the total number of creatures to a count of multiple hundreds. I’ve been working with ROSTRO here to figure out where they all came from. I’m obviously a master at inventing new ways to terrorize and mutilate players but I didn’t think I could…
Unearthed Mundana: Naval Ghost Stories
This article was first broadcast in Episode Seventy Seven on 19th June 2019. Lennon: Oh, the year was 1778 — how I wish I was in Sherbrooke noooooow… Ryu: Lennon? Doing some remodeling on the guild house? Lennon: No, I’m going sailing! Building myself a boat, off to the high seas! Ostron: Sailing to where? Lennon: Oooh, avast, ye landlubber. You don’t need a destination; the joy is in the sailing! Ryu: You have no idea what you’re going to do out there, do you. Lennon: Look, Columbus didn’t need directions — Ryu: — and Columbus thought he landed in India! Lennon: Well… I’m sure inspiration will come to me! Ostron: Would you mind if we offered some suggestions? With the release of Ghosts of Saltmarsh, it’s possible for campaigns to spend more of their time on the water and have meaningful gameplay experiences while on the high seas. However, while the Saltmarsh book provides several sea-themed adventures, a lot…
Unearthed Mundana: Metagaming Responsibly
This article was first broadcast in Episode Sixty-Five on 13th March 2019. Killer DM: and you, and you, and definitely you- Lennon: Dare I ask what you’re doing? Killer DM: Since we were talking about metagaming players last week, I figured I’d review my list of the ones I need to…talk with. Mikey: How long do those conversations take? Killer DM: Depends on how proficient they are at dexterity saves. Oh, hi Mikey, glad to see they let you out of the cave again — I do like the way you make me sound… Lennon: Just so we’re on the same page, you do know this is going to talk about how players can stop derailing the game with metagaming, right? Killer DM: I’m well aware of the goal here, Lennon, Ryu does keep me well informed. And if she doesn’t I can always bother Ostron about what’s happening. Mikey: Wait, is that why he’s not here? What do…
Unearthed Mundana: Metagaming
This article was first broadcast in Episode Sixty-Four on 6th March 2019. Ostron: Oh come on! This should be working! Lennon: Did you de-power an artifact in the workshop again? Ostron: No. I’m trying to configure the Realized Oikumenata- Ryu: You know it’s easier to just say ROSTRO. Ostron: Oh…huh. Never thought of that. Good point. Lennon: What do you mean you never though-…okay never mind. What were you trying to make the scary math machine do? Ostron: I was trying to configure it to detect metagaming and it keeps saying the parameters are invalid. Ryu: Well I swore I’d never agree with that thing but I think it’s right this time. Ostron: Well how do you guys pick out metagaming. Lennon: That’s complicated. Metagaming is one of those topics that tends to split the D&D community like psionics, 4th edition, and Warlocks. Ryu: Again, Warlocks are not controversial unless *you’re* in the room. Anyway, as soon as you mention…
Unearthed Mundana: Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood
This article was first broadcast in Episode Sixty-Three on 27th February 2019. *Sounds of a large crowd* Ryu: Okay, who are all these people? Lennon: Yes, thank you, we’ll be in touch, next please! Ostron: Lennon? What are you doing? Lennon: Job interviews! Ryu: For what? We’ve got a full staff, don’t we? And I mean, with the Oblex in HR… Lennon: No, no, I’m trying to fill out a village for my campaign. I need some tradespeople. Ostron: Don’t you just need to say “hey there are this many people in the village”? Lennon: Sure, if you want to half-ass it. A lot of times when players in a campaign wander into a village, they only get to know three types of people: the innkeeper (assuming an inn exists), any shopkeeper willing to buy things from them, and whomever in the village has work, or a problem, or some item the characters need. But there are a lot…
Gnomish Workshop: Monster Modification
This article was first broadcast in Episode Sixty on 6th February2019. Killer DM: Oh dear. Why is my favorite organ donor lying on the floor? If he’s dead and I didn’t kill him I will be very upset. ROSTRO: Inquiry. This situation has been explained previously. What is the source of confusion? Killer DM: Oooooh you’re all big and flashy. Are you that new thing Ryu’s been worried about? ROSTRO: Creature personality profile re-analyzed. Greetings. I am the Realized Oikumenatal Solution To Removing Obfuscation. You may refer to me as ROSTRO. I assist Ostron with more complex issues of a mathematical nature. Killer DM: I thought Ryu said we’re talking about how to create deadly encounters for high level characters. Surely Ostron doesn’t need help with that. ROSTRO: It is possible he received a post-hypnotic suggestion that mathematical analyses in the future should involve me regardless of complexity. Killer DM:…
Unearthed Mundana: Imposter Syndrome
This article was first broadcast in Episode Fifty-Nine on 30th January 2019. “The psychological experience of believing that one’s accomplishments came about not through genuine ability, but as a result of having been lucky, having worked harder than others, or having manipulated other people’s impressions” Many, many people when they begin playing D&D or when they take on a new role within the game start to get pervasive feelings of doubt that don’t go away. In their head, they have a refrain going of “I don’t know what I’m doing,” “So many other people could do this better than I can,” “Everyone’s just humoring me until it all comes crashing down and they ask me not to come back” and similar, intrusive thoughts. All of those feelings are the result of what psychologists call “Impostor Syndrome”. Though every person is different, usually people with impostor syndrome convince themselves that they aren’t…
Unearthed Mundana: Exotic Royalty
This article was first broadcast in Episode Forty-Two on 26th September 2018. Ryu: I’m so sick of kings and queens Lennon: No European vacation for you then? Ryu: No, I mean, I don’t mind them as people but every campaign you run into the land is ruled over by “king” this or “queen” that. Even when we were running through this jungle of sentient monkey-lizards they ended up being led by “Duke Longtail.” It was kind of disappointing. Ostron: Oh, well, a little bit of linguistic modification is in order then. Along with scenery and inhabitants, names have a huge impact on immersion and characters’ sense of displacement. Characters are more quickly put at ease if they wander into town and see an “Inn” sign hanging outside of a building; they automatically know where to go for food, lodging, and possibly local rumors. But if characters are well off the beaten path, it’s sometimes helpful…