Category Archives: Adventurer’s Journal

This article was first broadcast in Episode Two Hundred and Twenty Four on 7th September 2022. Note: This article was adapted from an episode script, and so there may be parts that don’t flow well when read, because they were initially designed for broadcast. Falling in D&D is something that’s often overlooked. For it to do a significant amount of damage the fall has to be from a rather high starting point, and unfortunately a lot of scenarios don’t have a great deal of verticality to them. Part of that is often practical; if you play in a game that uses minis on a tabletop or if you’re playing in a Virtual environment that’s top down rather than isometric, conveying height can be difficult. Also, many locations follow the Star Wars school of architecture and interior design; either there are small drops or minor changes in the landscape that are…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Forty-six on 16th December 2020. Lennon: All right, for some reason all the doors in the guild house are sticking, so I had to call this meeting virtually. Ostron (through loud machinery noises): Yeah, I’m working on that; it’s because of…well anyway I’m working on it. Lennon: Right…I sort of got that. Ryu (through tyrannosaur roar ): Yeah, the door to the stables is definitely stuck. I do not have the Athletics proficiency to fix that. Lennon: Yes we’re all aware that the doors … Ryu (interrupting): No, Peaches, we’ve talked about this, you can’t play with Branwen’s panther. Lennon: Um, Ryu? Ryu: I know, I know, it’s all fast and interesting but you stepped on his tail last time and … Lennon: Ryu! Ryu: What? Lennon: Your sending stone is still broadcasting. Ryu: What? Oh … Lennon: And that brings us to the reason for today’s meeting. See, our chief audio alchemist has been under the…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirty-seven on 7th October 2020. Lennon: We can’t put arrowslits in every wall. Ryu: Sure we can, they’re really easy to make. You just need a vorpal sword, really. Lennon: No, I mean, we can physically do it but then the walls fall down and instead of a guild house we have an embankment. And an angry research beholder looking for books. Ryu (with increasing frustration): Fine, why don’t we just go open plan then? Ostron can keep it above 70- Lennon: You mean 20? Ryu: Ostron can keep it comfortable with his weather spells, so we can just open the place up with some columns and arches. Lennon: Has anyone ever explained to you what a chokepoint is? Ryu: I’m getting really close to one now, I think. Ostron: Hey you two…am I interrupting something? Ryu: Yes. Lennon wants us all to die if the guild house catches fire because having more than…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Two on 10th June 2020. Ryu: Darn it! Every time! I fall for it every time! ROSTRO: Please state the nature of the mathematical inquiry. Lennon: Did you finnnd…I’ll see myself out. Ryu: No! You stay right there. Lennon: I’m too tired to deal with all the maths and the humming and stuff right now! Ryu: Fine, then I’m just going to put the hat on. You know how much KayDee likes hanging out with ROSTRO. Lennon: You’re evil. Ryu: One costume change and I can be. Lennon: Fine. So, ROSTRO, what mystery of the universe has Ostron decided you need to tackle this time. ROSTRO: Tactically sound withdrawals. Lennon: I’m all for them. Let’s go! Ryu: Wait, no. You mean retreating? Why is that something that’s confusing? Analysis of multiple observed and anecdotal accounts of combat encounters during games reveals numerous instances where an adventuring party is facing an obviously superior enemy. In such…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Eighteen on 13th May 2020. Libby: Book Lennon: I really think I have enough- Libby: Book Ryu: Lennon? Lennon: Over here! Ryu: Where? Lennon: Behind the huge stack of- Ryu: Wow, that’s a huge pile of- Libby: Book Ryu: Yes, thanks Libby. Ostron: What did you do? Lennon (sighing): I know we’re planning that trip for when everything opens back up so I wanted to learn everything I could about Waterdeep. Ostron: Oh no Libby: Book Ryu: What, did he break Libby? Ostron: No, it’s just…there’s a lot of information about Waterdeep. Lennon: Well, before I get an acute case of beholder-induced biblioruptus do you maybe have a summary I could get? Ostron: Yeah, here, have a look. Lennon: Oh good. While the Forgotten Realms in D&D is a vast setting with multiple locations and developed areas (even though some areas are getting less attention now than in the past), a central location has been prominent throughout its existence: the city of Waterdeep.…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Sixteen on 29th April 2020. Lennon (distorted): Okay, can you hear me? Ryu: Um…well yes, but that doesn’t sound right Ostron: I think you’ve got the… (pause) Ryu: Ostron? Oh great I think we lost him. Lennon (worse distortion): How about now? Ryu: Oh goodness! Whatever you did change it back!…Gah! Hey, I thought you were quarantining yourself in the workshop! Ostron: I am. There’s massive interference from the containment failure that’s messing with all the artifacts in there, so I figured it would be easier to just astrally project myself. Lennon: Okay, I think I got it sorted. Ryu: Why is Lennon stuck in the audio alchemists’ cave again? Ostron: The cave hatch is right outside the Workshop door. I’m not sure the wall of force protocol activated before something leaked out. Ryu: So you’re astrally projecting, Lennon’s fiddling with the sending stones in the cave, I’m the only one still in the booth.…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fifteen on 22nd April 2020. Lennon: Hey guys? I just came from HR and I have a question.  Ryu: Well that explains the sulfur smell  Ostron: Oh hang on, let me just prestidigitation the floor here and… (indistinguishable squishing) Lennon: Why do I feel funny? Hey what’s going on Ryu: Ahhhh…clone? Ostron: Clone Ryu: So where’s the real Lennon?  Ostron: Wait for it… Lennon: Hey guys? I just came from HR and I have a question Ostron: Great! What’s on your mind?  Lennon: Why has Gath Memvar signed everything “Forever Cleric”? I thought his official position was Head Scribe? Ryu: Oh, well that was his job originally, and he’s comfortable with it. So are some of the staff. I mean, just ask KayDee’s favourite organ donor. Lennon: Yeah, fair enough, Ostron really does like having two kidneys. I really feel like Gath should just move on.   Ostron: Eh, there’s an argument either way on that, I think. And…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twelve on 25th March 2020. Libby: Book. Lennon: No thanks, my multi-eyed friend, I’ve got this. I can find whatever I’m looking for completely on my own. Ostron: You do know Libby already has a book for you, right? Lennon: That’s not the book I want. Ryu (quietly, to herself): But is it the book you need? Ostron: Look, why are you suddenly interested in finding your own books in the annex? Lennon: I’ve been practicing my passive perception! If I just walk through the stacks here, I’ll notice the book I want out of the corner of my eye! Ostron: I didn’t know you could practice passive perception… Lennon: Well…it’s not exactly how that works, if I’m being honest. Feats are technically an optional rule in D&D, but many players, particularly those running higher level characters, like the option of grabbing one for their characters. The popularity of the variant human…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Five on 21st August 2019. Lennon: Ha! In your face ROSTRO RaeRae: You know it doesn’t have a face. Lennon: Whatever, the point is, I just created an entirely new race and class to play in D&D, and I didn’t have to touch my calculator once! Behold my Fire Giant Alchemical Archer! Ostron: Okay, so I’m assuming this is an Artificer with the Alchemist specialty and using a crossbow, that’s Unearthed Arcana but still valid, but Fire Giants aren’t a playable race. Is it balanced? Lennon: Pah! Forget balanced. There isn’t a single homebrewed rule in here. Ostron: That’s not possible. Lennon: It’s perfectly possible. You just have to use your imagination! One of the reasons a lot of people in the D&D community keep clamoring for new classes and devour homebrewed attempts on the DMs Guild is that they have an idea for a character that does things differently…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Four on 14th August 2019. Ostron: *sound of firebolt and then burning* Aaaaand boom. That’s all set now. Ryu: Please tell me that was a mathematical summary we don’t have to discuss in the Gnomish Workshop Ostron: No, that was one of my players’ backstories. Lennon: That thing was like 20 pages, who do you have as a player, George RR Martin? Wait, no, that backstory was finished… Ryu: Fleshed out backstories are good! Lennon: And it’s better than not getting anything. Remember the player I had from last week. Ostron: Yes, but there’s a limit. Some people need prodding and cajoling to come up with a backstory for their D&D characters. As we mentioned previously, many people simply make do with the descriptions in the character backgrounds from various sourcebooks, or they play the “mysterious stranger” card and claim to have an unimportant past and secret, unknowable reasons for adventuring,…

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