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Unearthed Mundana

Archives of Candlekeep: Yummy, Yummy Brains

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirty-two on 2nd September 2020. Lennon: Look, I don't care how much you want to, you cannot write a treatise on Mindflayers and not mention Spelljammer. Ostron: There are a few more ideas I had that I want to try. Ryu: No, no; I can already see your eyes drooping and I don't want to deal with that machine today. Just...

Archives of Candlekeep: Under a Dark Sun

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirty-one on 26th August 2020. ROSTRO: Please state the nature of the mathematical inquiry? Ryu: Ugh, It isn't one! Why is this thing even involved? I thought we were discussing lore? ROSTRO overanalyzes game mechanics. ROSTRO: My capabilities are not as limited as you imply. Lennon: All right, let's see what you've got here. "Dark Sun was a criminal syndicate that came into prominence during the Clone Wars as the Jedi-" Hang on, this is about Star Wars. ROSTRO: Please hold. Ryu: I told you we shouldn't be using it for anything that doesn't involve algebra! Now we have [through clenched teeth] to do it ourselves...

Unearthed Mundana: Whyfor the Bard

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirty on 19th August 2020. Lennon: So we've had a complaint from HR- Ryu: Look, nobody else is good at hiding things around here, but obviously *I* can't hide the mop from KayDee, so- Lennon: No, no, it's not about that. Ostron: I only lost one of the research beholders the other day, and I swear it'll be coming back to this plane in the next 24 to 96 hours- Lennon: Okay, I want to ask several questions but at the same time I'm not sure I want the answers so I'm just going to leave that one alone. No, they're complaining about...

Unearthed Mundana: Barbarian Smash!

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Nine on 5th August 2020. Ostron: Ryu? I wanted to talk to you about this application? Ryu: Oh I thought it looked good! Ostron: "In defense of the humble barbarian?" No, I don't think it's good, it's a terrible idea. Ryu: Why!? Ostron: The premise is wrong! Barbarians don't defend, they just attack. And I don't think they know what humble means, much less how to act that way. Lennon: Classist much? Ostron: Do you know how much delicate, sensitive stuff is in the Gnomish Workshop on any given day? And what do you think Libby's going to do if they get into the Annex and go...

Unearthed Mundana: High, Low, Wide – pick your magic

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Eight on 29th July 2020. Killer DM: Really, you don't know what you're missing; I've seen people do really crazy things. ROSTRO: There are certain quantum mechanical planes which derive similar effects in my experience. Lennon: Oh dear gods why!? I mean, I've been good lately, haven't I? Killer DM: Hello Lennon! Would you care to explain this package a courier dropped off this morning? Lennon: Um...

Unearthed Mundana: It’s About Time

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Five on 1st July 2020. Ryu (over sounds of multiple clocks): What is with all the ticking in here?! And do I hear water? Did the scrying pool overflow again? Ostron: It was an experiment. Lennon: See, there's this whole section of the guild house called the Gnomish Workshop, maybe you've heard of it? Ostron: Yes, thank you. I was looking into time in D&D and I tried to get the Research Beholders to help. They...

Unearthed Mundana: Painting Your Miniatures – Introduction to Colour Theory

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Three on 15th January 2020. Ryu: I'm sorry, you want me to what? Lennon: Break me into the workshop. Ryu: And these buckets of paint are for? Lennon: It's helping you too, actually. Ryu: Oh no, you are not dragging me into whatever insanity this is. Lennon: No, look; I know you're always complaining about how ROSTRO is imposing and disturbing so I figured a quick paint job...

Unearthed Mundana: Actual Two Weapon Fighting

This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Six on 28th August 2019. Ostron: Who switched off the lights in here — Lennon, why are you in a barrel, and Ryu, what did you just hide behind your back? Ryu: I didn’t break into the vault and get two swords for Lennon, if that’s what you’re asking. Ostron: Two swords? Ok, why? Lennon: Well… hang on, let me get out of this barrel… Well, all the talk of John Wick last week got me thinking of a cool character concept I want to play, but I thought I should practice dual-wielding first -- you know, to get into character. Right,...

Unearthed Mundana: Superstitions, Monsters and D&D

This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Two on 31st July 2019. Killer DM (tinkering): That'll do I think. ROSTRO: Your assistance is appreciated. I believe we can now conclude the matter at hand. Lennon: Does the matter at hand have anything to do with the research beholders doing laps between here and the Candlekeep annex? ROSTRO: Surprisingly astute observation The rules of Dungeons and Dragons enumerate an extensive bestiary of creatures benign and belligerent. Fifth edition currently has a comparatively tiny collection of creatures when compared with previous incarnations. Many of those editions had at least three monster manuals in addition to ancillary materials collating collections of fauna, easily...

Unearthed Mundana: Naval Ghost Stories

This article was first broadcast in Episode Seventy Seven on 19th June 2019. Lennon: Oh, the year was 1778 -- how I wish I was in Sherbrooke noooooow… Ryu: Lennon? Doing some remodeling on the guild house? Lennon: No, I'm going sailing! Building myself a boat, off to the high seas! Ostron: Sailing to where? Lennon: Oooh, avast, ye landlubber. You don't need a destination; the joy is in the sailing! Ryu: You have no idea what you're going to do out there, do you. Lennon: Look, Columbus didn’t need directions — Ryu: — and Columbus thought he landed in India! Lennon: Well… I’m sure inspiration will come to me! Ostron: Would you mind if we offered some suggestions? With the...

Unearthed Mundana: Metagaming

This article was first broadcast in Episode Sixty-Four on 6th March 2019. Ostron: Oh come on! This should be working! Lennon: Did you de-power an artifact in the workshop again? Ostron: No. I'm trying to configure the Realized Oikumenata- Ryu: You know it's easier to just say ROSTRO. Ostron: Oh...

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Gnomish Workshop: Monster Modification

This article was first broadcast in Episode Sixty on 6th February2019. Killer DM: Oh dear. Why is my favorite organ donor lying on the floor? If he's dead and I didn't kill him I will be very upset. ROSTRO: Inquiry. This situation has been explained previously. What is the source of confusion? Killer DM: Oooooh you're all big and flashy. Are you that new thing Ryu's been worried about? ROSTRO: Creature personality profile re-analyzed. Greetings. I am the Realized Oikumenatal Solution To Removing Obfuscation. You may refer to me as ROSTRO. I assist Ostron with more complex issues of a mathematical nature. Killer DM: I...

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Unearthed Mundana: Imposter Syndrome

This article was first broadcast in Episode Fifty-Nine on 30th January 2019. "The psychological experience of believing that one's accomplishments came about not through genuine ability, but as a result of having been lucky, having worked harder than others, or having manipulated other people's impressions" Many, many people when they begin playing D&D or when they take on a new role within the game start to get pervasive feelings of doubt that don't go away. In their head, they have a refrain going of "I don't know what I'm doing," "So many other people could do this better than I can," "Everyone's just...

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Unearthed Mundana: Exotic Royalty

This article was first broadcast in Episode Forty-Two on 26th September 2018. Ryu: I'm so sick of kings and queens Lennon: No European vacation for you then? Ryu: No, I mean, I don't mind them as people but every campaign you run into the land is ruled over by "king" this or "queen" that. Even when we were running through this jungle of sentient monkey-lizards they ended up being led by "Duke Longtail." It was kind of disappointing. Ostron: Oh, well, a little bit of linguistic modification is in order then. Along with scenery and inhabitants, names have a huge impact on immersion and characters' sense of displacement. Characters are...

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Unearthed Mundana: Truly Exotic Weapons

This article was first broadcast in Episode Twenty-Eight on 13th June 2018. Lennon: Hey guys, can you help me out with something?  I’ve been trying to make some locations in my game a little more exotic, and it got me thinking. I can flavor the buildings, sights, sounds and smells, even the names and local customs, but everyone still has shortswords, longbows and all those mundane types of weaponry. It reminded me of when we went to Ixalan. Ryu: Because your party’s wizard almost got them all killed? Ostron: Okay look- Lennon: Hey, hey, we’re talking about my problem here. Remember those blades the merfolk carried? They looked...

GaryCon 2018 Report

Greetings, brave adventurers! You've stumbled upon one of our guest blogs! If you've been burning to put quill to parchment over an idea, be sure to send it in to us, sendingstone@heroesrisepodcast.com and your ideas could be featured here!   Hello, this is Head Scribe Baxter, possibly better known as the “who” in “who the hell wrote this crap?!” for around half of the Short Rest segments.  Last week, Len asked me to cover Gary-Con, a convention in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, celebrating the life of Gary Gygax and his role in creating D&D, not to mention the influence he’s had on the...

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Royal Titles

This article was first broadcast in Episode Six on 3rd January 2018. Lennon: Why does the break room wall have dry erase lines everywhere with some pictures of Duke Ellington, Elvis, and Christopher Lee from Star Wars? Ostron: Oh, yeah, we wanted to add some stuff to our campaigns and have it be authentic. Royalty! Kings, Princes, Dukes. I mean an evil baron- Ryu: Or Baroness! Ostron: -right trying to take over the kingdom is classic! But we wanted it to be authentic and we’re not used to the whole royalty, lines of succession thing. Lennon: Ryu, Ostron, I’m British. We’ve got this. Here’s your...