Wisdom of the Masters: TPKS: How, Why, What to do
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Seven on 22nd July 2020. Ryu: Ostron? Ostron: What? Ryu: You’re…glowing. Ostron: Technically the robe is glowing. And the chainmail underneath it. Lennon: How…you’re not even proficient with chainmail, how are you going to cast spells. Ostron: First of all, let me worry about that, second, it never seems to matter if I can cast spells when she’s around. Lennon: Actually, yeah, where is the KDM? I figured she’d want to jump into this with both feet. Ryu: You guys still don’t get KayDee, do you? I asked her what she does when there’s a TPK and she just said: Killer DM: I laugh, and laugh, and laugh, then I have a drink. Ryu: When I asked her what she did after that she just seemed confused, so yeah, KayDee’s not going to be much help here. Lennon: Putting aside the disturbingly accurate impersonation that *still freaks me out*, do you have a different…
Archives of Candlekeep: The Fall and Rise of the Orc
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Six on 15th July 2020. Ostron: Ah, well at least that explains the necrotic energy surge I was detecting in the Gnomish Workshop… Ryu: Lennon! What have we said about demon worship!? Lennon (annoyed): Oh what is your problem? It’s not the 1980s anymore so the Satanic Panic is over! Besides, I got the note that we had to be prepared to talk about Orcus so I got these corpses and looked up the runes. Ostron: Orcs, man, Orcs! Great now I have to siphon the energy off safely. Please pull him out of the tridecagram. Ryu: Right. Okay. Lennon: So…orcs. Ryu: Yes, orcs. Not the demon god of the undead. Lennon: So…I think it’s safe to say I’m going to need to borrow someone’s notes. Ryu: You don’t say? Here. Lennon: Right. Orcs have not only been a staple of D&D since the beginning, they’ve really been a staple of fantasy stories…
Unearthed Mundana: It’s About Time
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Five on 1st July 2020. Ryu (over sounds of multiple clocks): What is with all the ticking in here?! And do I hear water? Did the scrying pool overflow again? Ostron: It was an experiment. Lennon: See, there’s this whole section of the guild house called the Gnomish Workshop, maybe you’ve heard of it? Ostron: Yes, thank you. I was looking into time in D&D and I tried to get the Research Beholders to help. They…misunderstood the instructions. Ryu: What is there to discuss about time in D&D anyway? There’s only a couple of spells that do anything with time, right? Ostron: Not the focus I had. Time measurement shows up in D&D everywhere; rests are measured in hours, spell casting times can be hours or minutes on occasion, and of course there’s the ever-important rule of 1 combat round equaling 6 seconds of in-game time. Days, weeks, and…
Wisdom of the Masters: Wishmasters: Comparison Shopping
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Four on 24th June 2020. Killer DM: They want to be happier in life, so they’re given an object that permanently curses them with Tasha’s Hideous Laughter. Ostron: Umm…Fae. Killer DM: Ugh. You know when I play games with ROSTRO I get a lot more enjoyment out of it. Ostron: Hey! I know that tone; You promised. Killer DM: Yes, yes, fine, let’s move on to the next one. Lennon: Um…so I have multiple questions. Killer DM: Lennon! Great, come join in the fun. Lennon: I’m pretty sure your definition of “fun” doesn’t conform to most rational beings’ interpretations. Also it worries me that Ostron is wearing plate mail to participate in this “fun.” Killer DM: Well speaking of definitions I saw this old movie, Ghostbusters, and I had the wrong idea of what they meant by “buster” but anyway there’s this scene in the beginning that looked like great fun, so…
Wisdom of the Masters: Interpreting Wishes for Pain & Misery
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Three on 17th June 2020. Ryu: Why are you making that face? Lennon: Well…once again I was sort of expecting a certain someone to show up for the discussion. Ryu: I asked her, but when she said she’d only bother if she was allowed to give an object lesson in how tricky contracts work using you and Ostron I figured it might be better to leave her out of it. Ostron: Although it might have been interesting to see her expression if I asked for indestructible and non-removable kidneys. Ryu: And what about your expression when she turns your kidneys into solid lumps of adamantine? Lennon: Which brings us neatly into the topic in our notes. In the D&D world, there are several methods for mere mortals to gain access to quazi-godlike supernatural assistance beyond hoping their resident cleric is very skilled at rolling a d100. Unlike the deities…
Adventurer’s Journal: The Tactical Retreat
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Two on 10th June 2020. Ryu: Darn it! Every time! I fall for it every time! ROSTRO: Please state the nature of the mathematical inquiry. Lennon: Did you finnnd…I’ll see myself out. Ryu: No! You stay right there. Lennon: I’m too tired to deal with all the maths and the humming and stuff right now! Ryu: Fine, then I’m just going to put the hat on. You know how much KayDee likes hanging out with ROSTRO. Lennon: You’re evil. Ryu: One costume change and I can be. Lennon: Fine. So, ROSTRO, what mystery of the universe has Ostron decided you need to tackle this time. ROSTRO: Tactically sound withdrawals. Lennon: I’m all for them. Let’s go! Ryu: Wait, no. You mean retreating? Why is that something that’s confusing? Analysis of multiple observed and anecdotal accounts of combat encounters during games reveals numerous instances where an adventuring party is facing an obviously superior enemy. In such…
Archives of Candlekeep: Neverwinter
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty One on 3rd June 2020. Ostron: Ryu. Ryu: What? Ostron: You know Libby doesn’t like people taking books from the annex. It had Lennon wandering around in a confused stupor for an entire day when he forgot to bring back an atlas. Ryu: How could you tell? Ostron: Honestly only because I saw Libby hit him with an eye ray. Lennon: Hey is that from the annex? You know Libby- Ryu: Yes, I heard, don’t worry; this isn’t one of Libby’s books. It’s my list for our trip to Neverwinter! Ostron: Luskan silk skirt, decorative water clock…oh this is a shopping list. Ryu: Something like that. Lennon: Waterdeep and Baldur’s Gate had stores all over the place, you didn’t make big shopping lists for them. Ryu: Oh my goodness you two have no idea. Baldur’s Gate is one of the physically largest and most defensible cities on the Sword Coast, and Waterdeep is probably…
Archives of Candlekeep: Baldur’s Gate
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty on 27th May 2020. Killer DM: Lennon Lennon: I didn’t do it! You can’t make me! I’ll never talk! Killer DM: Well all of that is patently false but at the moment I’m more interested in why you think a cape and a mask are necessary to visit Baldur’s Gate? Lennon: I…Think I read somewhere it was the latest fashion in certain circles. Ostron: Lennon did I see this right? HR says you wanted two weeks off? What for? Killer DM: Oh look what’s this? Lennon: Hey! That was in my pocket! Killer DM: And Ryu’s a rogue, so now it’s in my hand. “The Gloomstalker’s guide to rooftops and alleyways.” Hmmm. Lennon I’m going to ask you a question and there is a correct answer to it, so think carefully: Were you going to go to Baldur’s Gate and try to be Batman? Lennon: Um…I think you American’s say “I…
Wisdom of the Masters: New Players and Combat
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Nineteen on 20th May 2020. Killer DM: Come on, it’s only a small horde. Ryu: Of gnolls! KayDee they’re new! *Goblins* are a problem for them. Killer DM: Throwing someone in the deep end so they learn to swim builds character. Ryu: No, no in this case it kills characters. All of them. Lennon: It still completely unnerves me when you do that. Killer DM: Well fear not limey, I’m done here. Ryu simply refuses to listen to my suggestions. Lennon: I’m okay with that, I think. Suggestions about what? Ryu: What kind of combat to run for the new players. Ostron: You asked the KDM for help with that? Ryu: I didn’t ask so much as she volunteered, but I knew it was a bad idea. While character creation and leveling up can have a host of mechanics and terms that confuse new players, when it comes to actually playing the game, combat…
Archives of Candlekeep: History of the Sword Coast — Waterdeep
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Eighteen on 13th May 2020. Libby: Book Lennon: I really think I have enough- Libby: Book Ryu: Lennon? Lennon: Over here! Ryu: Where? Lennon: Behind the huge stack of- Ryu: Wow, that’s a huge pile of- Libby: Book Ryu: Yes, thanks Libby. Ostron: What did you do? Lennon (sighing): I know we’re planning that trip for when everything opens back up so I wanted to learn everything I could about Waterdeep. Ostron: Oh no Libby: Book Ryu: What, did he break Libby? Ostron: No, it’s just…there’s a lot of information about Waterdeep. Lennon: Well, before I get an acute case of beholder-induced biblioruptus do you maybe have a summary I could get? Ostron: Yeah, here, have a look. Lennon: Oh good. While the Forgotten Realms in D&D is a vast setting with multiple locations and developed areas (even though some areas are getting less attention now than in the past), a central location has been prominent throughout its existence: the city of Waterdeep.…