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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirty on 19th August 2020. Lennon: So we’ve had a complaint from HR- Ryu: Look, nobody else is good at hiding things around here, but obviously *I* can’t hide the mop from KayDee, so- Lennon: No, no, it’s not about that. Ostron: I only lost one of the research beholders the other day, and I swear it’ll be coming back to this plane in the next 24 to 96 hours- Lennon: Okay, I want to ask several questions but at the same time I’m not sure I want the answers so I’m just going to leave that one alone. No, they’re complaining about this hole in the org chart. Ostron: I told it the moisturizer was corrosive- Lennon: All right, I need you to just stop talking about…anything you’ve been doing lately. By “hole” I meant the position isn’t filled. Ryu: We already interviewed for the Barbarian position, they weren’t a…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Nine on 5th August 2020. Ostron: Ryu? I wanted to talk to you about this application? Ryu: Oh I thought it looked good! Ostron: “In defense of the humble barbarian?” No, I don’t think it’s good, it’s a terrible idea. Ryu: Why!? Ostron: The premise is wrong! Barbarians don’t defend, they just attack. And I don’t think they know what humble means, much less how to act that way. Lennon: Classist much? Ostron: Do you know how much delicate, sensitive stuff is in the Gnomish Workshop on any given day? And what do you think Libby’s going to do if they get into the Annex and go to town on the shelves. Lennon: Okay, you really need to stop. I’ve already had this conversation with someone else. Ostron: See, more people on my side. Who was it? Ryu: KayDee. Ostron: …Okay, so I’m wizard enough to admit I might need to rethink some things.…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Eight on 29th July 2020. Killer DM: Really, you don’t know what you’re missing; I’ve seen people do really crazy things. ROSTRO: There are certain quantum mechanical planes which derive similar effects in my experience. Lennon: Oh dear gods why!? I mean, I’ve been good lately, haven’t I? Killer DM: Hello Lennon! Would you care to explain this package a courier dropped off this morning? Lennon: Um…they’re research materials for the thing Ostron asked us to work on, with the magic? ROSTRO: There is a certain elegance in the amount of verbiage employed in that sentence despite a total lack of useful information whatsoever. Killer DM: I couldn’t have said it better myself. Well, actually I could have; you ramble, but fortunately for you, limey, after a bit of discussion with my faaavorite coworker here, I figured out what’s going on. Lennon: What’s that, other than completely ruining my day? ROSTRO:…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Seven on 22nd July 2020. Ryu: Ostron? Ostron: What? Ryu: You’re…glowing. Ostron: Technically the robe is glowing. And the chainmail underneath it. Lennon: How…you’re not even proficient with chainmail, how are you going to cast spells. Ostron: First of all, let me worry about that, second, it never seems to matter if I can cast spells when she’s around. Lennon: Actually, yeah, where is the KDM? I figured she’d want to jump into this with both feet. Ryu: You guys still don’t get KayDee, do you? I asked her what she does when there’s a TPK and she just said: Killer DM: I laugh, and laugh, and laugh, then I have a drink. Ryu: When I asked her what she did after that she just seemed confused, so yeah, KayDee’s not going to be much help here. Lennon: Putting aside the disturbingly accurate impersonation that *still freaks me out*, do you have a different…

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This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Six on 15th July 2020. Ostron: Ah, well at least that explains the necrotic energy surge I was detecting in the Gnomish Workshop… Ryu: Lennon! What have we said about demon worship!? Lennon (annoyed): Oh what is your problem? It’s not the 1980s anymore so the Satanic Panic is over! Besides, I got the note that we had to be prepared to talk about Orcus so I got these corpses and looked up the runes. Ostron: Orcs, man, Orcs! Great now I have to siphon the energy off safely. Please pull him out of the tridecagram. Ryu: Right. Okay. Lennon: So…orcs. Ryu: Yes, orcs. Not the demon god of the undead. Lennon: So…I think it’s safe to say I’m going to need to borrow someone’s notes. Ryu: You don’t say? Here. Lennon: Right. Orcs have not only been a staple of D&D since the beginning, they’ve really been a staple of fantasy stories…

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