Wisdom of the Masters: Clear and Present Danger
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Sixty Two on 21 April 2021. Lennon: Really? You know I thought we were on the same page with this kind of thing but noooooo. Ostron: Look, it’s like I said, the best information comes from experts and…well… Killer DM: Aww, here I was hoping ROSTRO and I could get a little study session in but it’s just you two. I suppose I should have been suspicious when Ryu found the hat just sitting on her desk. Ostron: Yeah, ROSTRO isn’t being used right now – Killer DM: Of course not; I’m talking to you. Ostron: What? Killer DM: Never mind. So I assume you aren’t here to voluntarily donate kidneys? Ostron: No, we wanted to consult you on something. Lennon: No no no, you wanted to consult her on something. Killer DM: Aww, you just wanted to see me for friendship’s sake? I knew we had a connection. Lennon: That’s not – Killer…
Wisdom of the Masters: Managing NPCs
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fifty Six on 10 March 2021. Libby (indignantly): Book! Lennon: Come on, it’s just a little sign, it can go on, what about that eyestalk? Ryu: Lennon, what are you doing to Libby? Lennon: Well…look, we have like seven research beholders around the Guild House, right? Ostron: Twelve. Lennon: Twelve!? Aw man, now I need more signs. Ryu: Signs…for the research beholders? Lennon: Yeah, I can’t keep them straight. I see one floating around and I’m never sure if it’s the one that I asked for the reference book to help with the show notes or the one I told to make me a sandwich. Ostron: Okay, I’ll grant you that telling the beholders apart is a bit tricky but do you really need to identify all of them? And Libby’s pretty distinctive anyway. Lennon: So you’re okay with unlabeled characters just running around? Ryu (shrugging): I like chaos. Then again, that’s not for everyone.…
Wisdom of the Masters: Zero Triggers
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fifty Four on 24 February 2021. Lennon: No, I’m not doing it. Ostron: Look, we all understand you’re having issues with the transition but the reality is that your new…condition…changes things. Lennon: See, I don’t feel like it does, and I don’t want people acting like it does, if it’s all the same to you. Ostron: Fine, fine, we’ll…work around it. Ryu: Ostron? Ostron: Yes? Ryu: I have a problem with your plan. Ostron: Apparently you need to get in line. Ryu: I’m sorry? Ostron: Sorry, yes, what is it? Ryu: You want me to, and I’m quoting here, “catch the guard captain’s interest socially and ply him for information using feminine wiles.” Ostron: Yes? Ryu: I’m not really comfortable with what you’re implying here. Ostron: You’ve done that sort of thing before. Ryu: Because it was legitimately necessary! I’m a rogue! They’re the captain of the guard for an actual lich king. What’s wrong with torture? Ostron: I’m assuming…
Wisdom of the Masters: Wishmasters: Comparison Shopping
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Four on 24th June 2020. Killer DM: They want to be happier in life, so they’re given an object that permanently curses them with Tasha’s Hideous Laughter. Ostron: Umm…Fae. Killer DM: Ugh. You know when I play games with ROSTRO I get a lot more enjoyment out of it. Ostron: Hey! I know that tone; You promised. Killer DM: Yes, yes, fine, let’s move on to the next one. Lennon: Um…so I have multiple questions. Killer DM: Lennon! Great, come join in the fun. Lennon: I’m pretty sure your definition of “fun” doesn’t conform to most rational beings’ interpretations. Also it worries me that Ostron is wearing plate mail to participate in this “fun.” Killer DM: Well speaking of definitions I saw this old movie, Ghostbusters, and I had the wrong idea of what they meant by “buster” but anyway there’s this scene in the beginning that looked like great fun, so…
Wisdom of the Masters: Interpreting Wishes for Pain & Misery
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty Three on 17th June 2020. Ryu: Why are you making that face? Lennon: Well…once again I was sort of expecting a certain someone to show up for the discussion. Ryu: I asked her, but when she said she’d only bother if she was allowed to give an object lesson in how tricky contracts work using you and Ostron I figured it might be better to leave her out of it. Ostron: Although it might have been interesting to see her expression if I asked for indestructible and non-removable kidneys. Ryu: And what about your expression when she turns your kidneys into solid lumps of adamantine? Lennon: Which brings us neatly into the topic in our notes. In the D&D world, there are several methods for mere mortals to gain access to quazi-godlike supernatural assistance beyond hoping their resident cleric is very skilled at rolling a d100. Unlike the deities…
Wisdom of the Masters: New Players and Combat
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Nineteen on 20th May 2020. Killer DM: Come on, it’s only a small horde. Ryu: Of gnolls! KayDee they’re new! *Goblins* are a problem for them. Killer DM: Throwing someone in the deep end so they learn to swim builds character. Ryu: No, no in this case it kills characters. All of them. Lennon: It still completely unnerves me when you do that. Killer DM: Well fear not limey, I’m done here. Ryu simply refuses to listen to my suggestions. Lennon: I’m okay with that, I think. Suggestions about what? Ryu: What kind of combat to run for the new players. Ostron: You asked the KDM for help with that? Ryu: I didn’t ask so much as she volunteered, but I knew it was a bad idea. While character creation and leveling up can have a host of mechanics and terms that confuse new players, when it comes to actually playing the game, combat…
Wisdom of the Masters: Epilogues
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fourteen on 15th April 2020. Ostron: Well, I’m officially out of spell slots. And I’m going to be mumbling the incantation for water breathing in my sleep now. RaeRae: Did anyone actually double check that the gnome was the only one who could fix Lennon’s bike? Ostron: What, you think he made that up? RaeRae: I just, you know, find it hard to believe he made Lennon to go get him a bunch of meteoric iron. At the bottom of a lake. With nesting Hydras. I do this for him after he nearly breaks my scrying pool. He’s lucky it was his birthday. Ostron: Well the gnome finally welded everything together, though why Lennon needs a wind gauge on his bike is beyond me. Ryu: Most of Lennon’s reasoning is beyond us, honestly. (silence) Ryu: So what do we do now? RaeRae: I’ve heard of this great chain of islands everyone’s been…
Wisdom of the Masters: Winging It
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirteen on 1st April 2020. Ostron: I thought you said this wasn’t ever going to happen? Ryu: Yeah, I did, but then he taught me some stuff about Thieves’ Cant and here we are. Ostron: I thought you already knew Thieves’ Cant? Ryu: Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. I meant I taught him. He definitely didn’t teach me. Nope. I mean, can you imagine it? Me, a rogue, who doesn’t know Thieves’ Cant? Ostron: Yeah, that’s highly unlikely, statistically speaking Ryu: Anyway, stuff and things, here we are. No! Peaches, stay. (grumbling sound) Ryu: Yes, you can play with KayDee’s nightmare after, I just need you to stay. Lennon: Okay! Bike is all set, helmet’s on, let’s do this. Ryu: Um, Lennon? You have to start up at Peaches’ head. Lennon: Right. Ladder? Ryu: With a bicycle? Ostron: Did you plan this out at all beyond “Use Peaches as a bike ramp?” Lennon: What for? I mean,…
Wisdom of the Masters: Infections
This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Eleven on 18th March 2020. Killer DM (drawn out and threatening): Oh Lennon… Lennon: No! Killer DM: No? Lennon: Yes? What answer keeps me alive? Killer DM: Oh we’re way past that point, but before I start showing you what your own spleen looks like, I was just curious why you tried to issue a notice saying Ryu shouldn’t be associating with me for the foreseeable future? Lennon: Well…Ostron’s doing his research on infections and he recommended everyone avoid spending time in close proximity to other people…so… Killer DM: So you decided now was a good time to attempt an underhanded ban on having me around. I can actually respect that; it has a deviousness I appreciate. Lennon: It’s not a ban it’s just…you know…until Ostron’s done with his research. Killer DM: Oh, that’s fine then. (Loud pounding on a heavy door) Ostron: What do you-ghaaah! Why- Killer DM: Are you done with your research?…
Wisdom of the Masters: The Tone of your Campaign
This article was first broadcast in Episode Ninety Eight on 27th November 2019. Mikey: Okay what about this one … Lennon: No, that’s still not quite right Mikey: This one? Lennon: Close… but it doesn’t quite capture the essence of “Asmodeus is trying to destroy the world”, you know? Ryu: Mikey? Is that you? What are you two cooking up this time? Lennon: I’m trying to work with Mikey to find the exact sound that describes my campaign, like you said. Ryu: And once again your grasp of the English language amazes me. We’re talking about the *emotional* tone of the game, not sound. Ostron: Although music can help with that a bit. Mikey: Right, I’m done here. Lennon: But…fine, so what did you two want to talk about? Every time you run a campaign, or even a one-shot, discussing with the table what the tone for the game is, is a very important topic. Players may have a number of different expectations…