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Author: Pix Vectri

Gnomish Workshop Short Rest

Gnomish Workshop: Oathbreaking

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Sixty Six on 19 May 2021. Lennon: All right, I've got it! Ryu: For the last time, you cannot make a flumph your patron. Lennon: No, no, no, I've got all that sorted. See, I'm just going to ignore my patron. Ostron: I'm sorry, what? Lennon: Yeah. See, I've been looking into it and, as far as I can tell, there's no downside. Ostron: How is that possible? Your patron is why you have all your abilities. Don't they go away? Lennon: Nope. Ryu: Well that's not fair; Paladins and Clerics have to follow their god and everything or they get slapped, why do you get a free pass? Lennon: Actually,...

by Pix Vectri
May 19, 2021
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Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom of the Masters: Whyfor The Locked Door?

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Sixty Five on 12 May 2021. Ryu: Aaaand done. Vault is open, all of the treasures are mine, I win again. Lennon (sighing): Well so much for the vaunted house of Kundark. You're fired, by the way. (angry dwarf sounds) Ryu: I do feel kind of bad; I hope it wasn't too expensive to bring him in from Eberron? Lennon: Oh what does it matter, you would have stolen the gold anyway. I just...

by Pix Vectri
May 12, 2021
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Archives of Candlekeep

Wisdom of the Masters: When to Take a Break

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Sixty Four on 5 May 2021. (outside the stables) Ryu: All right everyone, I'm packed, I'll see you all later. Lennon: Wait, where are you going? Ryu: I have time off. Lennon: Who authorized that? Ostron: I did. Things are looking to be kind of slow for the upcoming week. And think of it this way, if Ryu's not here, neither is the KDM. Lennon: I suppose that’s true. Ryu: Everyone needs a break, man. You should consider taking one, in fact. Lennon: Nah. No breaks, no sleep, just focussing on the job at hand. It’s never done me any harm. Ostron: Last week you spent three days walking around with a...

by Pix Vectri
May 5, 2021
0
Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Daddy Daughter Date

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Sixty on 7 April 2021. Lennon: Hey Ostron, I'm confused about something. Ostron: And in other news, the sun came up this morning. Lennon: What? Ostron: Never mind, what's confusing you? Lennon: Archdevils. Ryu: Well you're doing okay then, usually they just kill you or trap you in a deal to steal your soul. Lennon: No I haven't talked to any of them, I'm doing research. Ostron: We put that research project on hold, I thought? Lennon: Yeah, this was for...

by Pix Vectri
April 7, 2021
0
Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Take It In Strahd

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fifty Five on 3 March 2021. Ryu: Okay, I realize the whole warlock thing is hitting you hard but this is too far. Lennon: What? Capes are cool, they should really make a comeback. Ryu: I'm fine with the cape, it's the grey face paint and the red contacts. Isn't that racist or something? Ostron: Against who? Grimlocks? They don't generally raise objections in civil court. Ryu: All right fine, So why are you going all Dracula? It's nowhere near Halloween. Lennon: Well, I figured new class, new Identity, and everyone thinks vampires are cool. Especially this one. Ostron: Which one? Lennon: Come on, I really tried with the makeup...

by Pix Vectri
March 3, 2021
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Gnomish Workshop Short Rest

Gnomish Workshop: Rolling Initiative

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fifty Three on 17 February 2021. Lennon: Oh good, Ostron. I have some questions for you. Ostron: I did not tell the beholders to do that to your bed, you brought that on yourself. Lennon: No, It's fine, the squeezing effect actually helps with lumbar support when I'm sleeping. Ryu: Um...

by Pix Vectri
February 17, 2021
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Short Rest Unearthed Mundana

Archives of Candlekeep: Mephistopheles — A Psychological Study

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fifty One on 3 February 2021. ROSTRO: Please state the nature of the mathematical inquiry. Killer DM (fondly): I was wondering if you were going to start humming and bring a smile to my face. How are you? ROSTRO: Operational efficiency is at 120%. It appears that Ostron was interrupted in recent exploratory efforts. Killer DM: Yes, well, he was fiddling with the hat and I just got suspicious so I figured knocking him out was a good first step and then I rounded up the usual suspect to figure out what's going on. Now, be a good limey and tell me...

by Pix Vectri
February 3, 2021
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Short Rest Unearthed Mundana

Unearthed Mundana: Cheese for the Poor?

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fifty on 27 January 2021. (loud rock drilling) Ryu (shouting): LENNON! (drilling stops) Lennon: What? Ryu: Oh thank goodness. You realize nobody can hear anything? Also you're getting rock dust all over the place. Lennon: I'm investing in our future, Ryu, you need to get on board here. Ryu: You're carving a gigantic...

by Pix Vectri
January 27, 2021
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Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Glasya – Daddy’s Little Devil

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Forty-seven on 23rd December 2020. Ryu (breathlessly): Oh good, you guys are here. Lennon: Um, yes, are you okay? Ryu: Maybe? Are there side effects to chaining bless spells? Ostron: Why is that a question? Ryu: Look, KayDee is desperately trying to get involved with the Glasya research and I'm fairly sure that will end with her trying to summon the archdevil for a chat. I decided I needed an extra boost so I've been getting Gath to bless me continually. Ostron: I don't know about any side effects but you certainly look like you're under a lot of strain. Ryu: Yeah, well, you better hope I can hold...

by Pix Vectri
December 23, 2020
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Short Rest Unearthed Mundana

Wisdom of the Masters: Emotional Exercise

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Forty-three on 25th November 2020. Ryu: Okay, so what about when you're annoyed. Libby (annoyed): Book! Ryu: Right, okay, I think I'm getting the hang of this. Hmm. Drunk. What are you like drunk? Do you get drunk? Hang on. Ostron! Ostron: Speaking. Ryu: Can you get me a fireball? Libby (worried and angry): Book! Ryu: No, not an actual fireball, the whiskey. Lennon: Did someone say whiskey. Ostron: Either that or Ryu wants me to set the annex on fire. Ryu: No, no, I'm trying to get Libby drunk. Lennon: Hm. See usually when someone says something that makes me think of questions I need, but definitely don't want answers to, it's Ostron, but here...

by Pix Vectri
November 25, 2020
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Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Pack It Up, Folks!

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Forty on 5th November 2020. (roaring) Ostron: I didn't just hear that. (roaring) Ostron: No, okay, I did hear that. We're Omega Black people, this is not a drill! Libby (panicked): Book! RaeRae: Getting the cover on the scrying pool. Gath: Securing potions. Lennon: Why didn't we set up an alarm for this kind of thing? (roaring) RaeRae: Did you not hear that? It is the alarm! Where's Ryu? Killer DM (amused): Oh my. What is going on here? RaeRae: That figures. Gath (sighing): Let me go find my diamonds. Ostron: I suppose you're the cause of all this? Killer DM: Well all this panicking and running around, no, although it is amusing. But if you mean the Tarrasque, then...

by Pix Vectri
November 4, 2020
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Short Rest Unearthed Mundana

Archives of Candlekeep: Yummy, Yummy Brains

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirty-two on 2nd September 2020. Lennon: Look, I don't care how much you want to, you cannot write a treatise on Mindflayers and not mention Spelljammer. Ostron: There are a few more ideas I had that I want to try. Ryu: No, no; I can already see your eyes drooping and I don't want to deal with that machine today. Just...

by Pix Vectri
September 2, 2020
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Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Neverwinter

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Twenty One on 3rd June 2020. Ostron: Ryu. Ryu: What? Ostron: You know Libby doesn't like people taking books from the annex. It had Lennon wandering around in a confused stupor for an entire day when he forgot to bring back an atlas. Ryu: How could you tell? Ostron: Honestly only because I saw Libby hit him with an eye ray. Lennon: Hey is that from the annex? You know Libby- Ryu: Yes, I heard, don't worry; this isn't one of Libby's books. It's my list for our trip to Neverwinter! Ostron: Luskan silk skirt, decorative water clock...

by Pix Vectri
June 3, 2020
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Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom of the Masters: New Players and Combat

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Nineteen on 20th May 2020. Killer DM: Come on, it's only a small horde. Ryu: Of gnolls! KayDee they're new! *Goblins* are a problem for them. Killer DM: Throwing someone in the deep end so they learn to swim builds character. Ryu: No, no in this case it kills characters. All of them. Lennon: It still completely unnerves me when you do that. Killer DM: Well fear not limey, I'm done here. Ryu simply refuses to listen to my suggestions. Lennon: I'm okay with that, I think. Suggestions about what? Ryu: What kind of combat to run for the new players. Ostron: You asked the KDM for help with that? Ryu: I didn't ask...

by Pix Vectri
May 20, 2020
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Adventurer's Journal Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: History of the Sword Coast — Waterdeep

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Eighteen on 13th May 2020. Libby: Book Lennon: I really think I have enough- Libby: Book Ryu: Lennon? Lennon: Over here! Ryu: Where? Lennon: Behind the huge stack of- Ryu: Wow, that's a huge pile of- Libby: Book Ryu: Yes, thanks Libby. Ostron: What did you do? Lennon (sighing): I know we're planning that trip for when everything opens back up so I wanted to learn everything I could about Waterdeep. Ostron: Oh no Libby: Book Ryu: What, did he break Libby? Ostron: No, it's just...

by Pix Vectri
May 13, 2020
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Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom of the Masters: Epilogues

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Fourteen on 15th April 2020. Ostron: Well, I’m officially out of spell slots. And I’m going to be mumbling the incantation for water breathing in my sleep now. RaeRae: Did anyone actually double check that the gnome was the only one who could fix Lennon’s bike? Ostron: What, you think he made that up? RaeRae: I just, you know, find it hard to believe he made Lennon to go get him a bunch of meteoric iron. At the bottom of a lake. With nesting Hydras. I do this for him after he nearly breaks my scrying pool. He’s lucky it was his...

by Pix Vectri
April 15, 2020
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Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom of the Masters: Winging It

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Thirteen on 1st April 2020. Ostron: I thought you said this wasn't ever going to happen?  Ryu: Yeah, I did, but then he taught me some stuff about Thieves’ Cant and here we are. Ostron: I thought you already knew Thieves’ Cant? Ryu: Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. I meant I taught him. He definitely didn’t teach me. Nope. I mean, can you imagine it? Me, a rogue, who doesn’t know Thieves’ Cant? Ostron: Yeah, that’s highly unlikely, statistically speaking Ryu: Anyway, stuff and things, here we are. No! Peaches, stay.  (grumbling sound) Ryu: Yes, you can play with KayDee's nightmare after, I just need you to stay.  Lennon: Okay! Bike...

by Pix Vectri
April 1, 2020
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Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Ooze On First

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Eight on 26th February 2020. Lennon: Ostron, I need you to sign this purchase order. Ostron: What's it for? Lennon: Cleaning supplies. Ryu: Why do we need new cleaning supplies? Lennon: Apparently HR has determined mops are a safety hazard and they're being abused by certain quasi-members of the staff. Ryu: Okay, you have to admit it was kind of funny when KayDee broke that slime trail and the Gath duplicate spilled the potion into itself and it was all glowy for a bit before it evaporated. Ostron: Hang on, this says the replacement cleaning supplies are more oozes! Lennon: What? where does it say that? Ostron: Requisition: 4 cubes, gel. 2...

by Pix Vectri
February 26, 2020
0
Podcasts

Heroes Rise: Dissonant Whispers – Monsters

Welcome, brave adventurers to the fourth episode of Heroes Rise: Dissonant Whispers, a Patreon Exclusive show for all backers regardless of tier that will air every few weeks exclusively on our Patreon page. If you like what you hear then head on over to our Patreon page to sign up. Tiers start from just $4 per month which will also get you access to the main Heroes Rise show unedited and early each week, and there's even some Heroes Rise swag up for grabs....

by Pix Vectri
February 5, 2020
0
Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Planar Tour: Feywild

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Five on 29th January 2020. Lennon: Oh dear gods why? Killer DM: Ryu's faerie dragon's gone back to the feywild for a bit. Ostron: And she didn't want to go with it? Killer DM: Oh goodness no. Every time she goes there I get into a fight. Lennon: I thought most feywild creatures were a little less aggressive than that? Killer DM: First of all, are you kidding? Second, I didn't say Ryu got into a fight; I get into a fight. Lennon: Don't tell me you have outstanding geases or something. Ostron: I thought you dealt in flaming horses. You're doing birds now? Lennon: What? Oh, wait are you kidding? Do...

by Pix Vectri
January 29, 2020
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Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Planar Tour: Shadowfell

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Four on 22nd January 2020. Lennon (storytelling): It was a dark and stormy night Ryu: I'm not hearing a storm Lennon (storytelling sarcastically): Because someone is slacking off Ostron: At this point I've already used four spell slots just on ambiance. Magical darkness, mist cloud, control weather, wind gust, now you want lightning on command? Lennon: … well I’ve gotta set the mood right Ryu: Wouldn't it be easier to just meet in the Shadowfell at this point? Lennon: Well...

by Pix Vectri
January 22, 2020
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Short Rest Unearthed Mundana

Unearthed Mundana: Painting Your Miniatures – Introduction to Colour Theory

This article was first broadcast in Episode One Hundred Three on 15th January 2020. Ryu: I'm sorry, you want me to what? Lennon: Break me into the workshop. Ryu: And these buckets of paint are for? Lennon: It's helping you too, actually. Ryu: Oh no, you are not dragging me into whatever insanity this is. Lennon: No, look; I know you're always complaining about how ROSTRO is imposing and disturbing so I figured a quick paint job...

by Pix Vectri
January 15, 2020
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Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom of the Masters: PvP in D&D

This article was first broadcast in Episode Ninety Six on 13th November 2019. Killer DM: Mmmmm that felt almost too good. Lennon: I don't think I want to know Killer DM: Of course you do, Lennon; we both know you're constantly living vicariously through me and loving every minute of it. Lennon: I'm really not. Killer DM: Well keep lying to yourself then, but I just managed to get a TPK without any work at all. Ostron: Well, you are a big fan of the random rock fall. Killer DM: Oh no, it's even better than that; the party killed each other! PvP combat in fifth edition is so easy and it's great! Lennon: That's...

by Pix Vectri
November 13, 2019
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Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom of the Masters: Crafting Confusion

This article was first broadcast in Episode Ninety Five on 6th November 2019. Lennon: So, what do you think would happen if I tried to make some modifications to ROSTRO? Ryu: I think KayDee would probably harvest all your organs and then stuff you into it. You know how she is about that thing.  Lennon: As with most subjects where she's involved, I try not to think about it.  Ryu: Why do you want to fiddle around with that monstrosity anyway?  Lennon: I was hoping to figure out a better way to get magic items made. The regular process is just...

by Pix Vectri
November 6, 2019
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Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Psionics: The knowledge everyone hates

This article was first broadcast in Episode Ninety Four on 30th October 2019. Lennon: Hey Ostron, I have a question Ostron: No, it is not possible to use Peaches as a ramp for your bicycle if she angles her tail the right way. Ryu: No abusing my dinosaur! I will allow her to eat you! Lennon: Okay, that wasn't the question, though thank you for ruining my fun once again. My actual question is why are we starting this short rest with psionics in 3rd edition? Doesn’t it make more sense to start with 1e? Ostron: Oh, well, psionics from 1st and 2nd edition had convoluted and problematic rules that make it fairly...

by Pix Vectri
October 30, 2019
0
Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Psionics: The knowledge you never knew you forgot

This article was first broadcast in Episode Ninety Three on 23rd October 2019. Ostron: Really? You guys really want to do this? Ryu: Look, everyone keeps going on and on about psionics- Ostron: I don't. I try to avoid it, actually Lennon: Yes, but that's the point; people don't quite know why. What's wrong with psionics, why is it such a touchy subject? Ostron: All right, fine, follow me. Libby: Book Ostron: Thanks. Here. Ryu: ...

by Pix Vectri
October 23, 2019
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Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Eberron Mechanics and Gameplay

This article was first broadcast in Episode Ninety One on 2nd October 2019. Mikey: Oooooh, this is what Ryu meant by “that big, magic-mechanical monstrosity starts using big words at us”! ROSTRO: While her intent with the labeling was no doubt pejorative, the choice of vocabulary was interestingly accurate. Mikey: … I see what she means. ROSTRO: I would also bring to your attention that given the topic being discussed, my participation could be considered verisimilitudinous. Lennon: Actually, that is a point. Huge machine run by magic is very Eberron. As we discussed previously, Eberron as a setting represents a significant departure from playing in the Forgotten Realms version of the game. However, lest...

by Pix Vectri
October 2, 2019
0
Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Eberron: Origin and Lore

This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Nine on 18th September 2019. Ostron: Oh bright Pelor what are all those colors? *sound of knife throwing* Lennon: Aww Ryu! You cut the fuse! Though that was a good shot with the knife! Ryu: Thanks. And you’re not setting off fireworks in here. We said you could do a couple of short rests focused on Eberron, not throw a party! Lennon: You guys always ruin my fun! Ryu: Really? You want me to get the hat? Lennon: Even that couldn’t bring me down, I'm having a great time, this is wonderful! Let me just go get the notes. Ostron: Keep in mind, if those notes required an actual...

by Pix Vectri
September 18, 2019
0
Archives of Candlekeep Short Rest

Archives of Candlekeep: Ambulatory Corpses

This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Eight on 11th September 2019. ROSTRO: Please state the nature of the mathematical inquiry Ryu: First, you called us, second, what does this topic have to do with math? ROSTRO: The exercise involved more comparative analysis and referencing information from extraplanar sources than engaging in mathematical activities but my resources remained invaluable. It is also likely the handwritten note provided by Lennon was misinterpreted by Ostron. Ryu: Let me...

by Pix Vectri
September 11, 2019
0
Short Rest Unearthed Mundana

Unearthed Mundana: Actual Two Weapon Fighting

This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Six on 28th August 2019. Ostron: Who switched off the lights in here — Lennon, why are you in a barrel, and Ryu, what did you just hide behind your back? Ryu: I didn’t break into the vault and get two swords for Lennon, if that’s what you’re asking. Ostron: Two swords? Ok, why? Lennon: Well… hang on, let me get out of this barrel… Well, all the talk of John Wick last week got me thinking of a cool character concept I want to play, but I thought I should practice dual-wielding first -- you know, to get into character. Right,...

by Pix Vectri
August 28, 2019
0
Adventurer's Journal Short Rest

Adventurer’s Journal: Characters: Just make it up!

This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty Five on 21st August 2019. Lennon: Ha! In your face ROSTRO RaeRae: You know it doesn't have a face. Lennon: Whatever, the point is, I just created an entirely new race and class to play in D&D, and I didn't have to touch my calculator once! Behold my Fire Giant Alchemical Archer! Ostron: Okay, so I'm assuming this is an Artificer with the Alchemist specialty and using a crossbow, that's Unearthed Arcana but still valid, but Fire Giants aren't a playable race. Is it balanced? Lennon: Pah! Forget balanced. There isn't a single homebrewed rule in here. Ostron: That's not possible. Lennon: It's perfectly possible. You just...

by Pix Vectri
August 21, 2019
0
Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom from the Masters: Maintaining Villainy

This article was first broadcast in Episode Eighty on 17th July 2019. Mikey: Oh thank goodness. Given the topic I thought the Killer DM was going to be here again. She always seems to show up when I come out of the cave.  Ostron: How bad was this fight? Does this mean you put the hat away for good?  Ryu: What? No! We patched things up days ago. This time she's just sitting out from contempt. How did she put it?  Killer DM: If other DMs don't know how to keep their best characters alive that's not my problem. They should just call me in to help.  Ostron: I've been halfway...

by Pix Vectri
July 17, 2019
0
Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom from the Masters: Realizing Villainy

This article was first broadcast in Episode Seventy Nine on 3rd July 2019. Lennon: Well the topic is “villainy”, but I don’t see the Killer DM hat. Ryu: Yeah, after I showed you how to break in to the vault last week, Ostron decided it wasn’t safe to keep the hat there. Lennon: Oh, so did he manage to hide it somewhere you couldn’t find it? Ryu: Not really. Ostron’s good, but...

by Pix Vectri
July 3, 2019
0
Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom from the Masters: Non-combat Roles

This article was first broadcast in Episode Seventy Eight on 26th June 2019. Ostron: Ryu? Why are you teaching Lennon how to pick the lock on the vault? Ryu: Oh, well, I'm going to be DMing a bunch of new players so I wanted to brush up on how to teach people new skills. Ostron: I thought we have a policy against you DMing new people? Ryu: You have a policy against KayDee DMing new people. It's just going to be me. Ostron: What's that bunch of white and red fuzz I can see in your pocket? Ryu: What? Lint! I'm sure it's just lint. I washed these pants with some fuzzy towels....

by Pix Vectri
June 26, 2019
0
Short Rest Unearthed Mundana

Unearthed Mundana: Naval Ghost Stories

This article was first broadcast in Episode Seventy Seven on 19th June 2019. Lennon: Oh, the year was 1778 -- how I wish I was in Sherbrooke noooooow… Ryu: Lennon? Doing some remodeling on the guild house? Lennon: No, I'm going sailing! Building myself a boat, off to the high seas! Ostron: Sailing to where? Lennon: Oooh, avast, ye landlubber. You don't need a destination; the joy is in the sailing! Ryu: You have no idea what you're going to do out there, do you. Lennon: Look, Columbus didn’t need directions — Ryu: — and Columbus thought he landed in India! Lennon: Well… I’m sure inspiration will come to me! Ostron: Would you mind if we offered some suggestions? With the...

by Pix Vectri
June 19, 2019
0
Short Rest Wisdom of the Masters

Wisdom from the Masters: You Signed Up For This

This article was first broadcast in Episode Seventy Five on 5th June 2019. Ostron: I realize what I'm asking here but could the KDM help? Lennon: Does she ever? Ryu: Oh come on, you know she does! But I don't think so in this case; I'm pretty sure KayDee doesn't get nostalgic about stuff like that, and everyone she DMed for in her first game is probably gone. Ostron: Yeah, people move away, get older, you lose touch...

by Pix Vectri
June 5, 2019
0